So here I am writing my first blog...I have to admit it feels like being a virgin...a bit scary, risky, titillating, hopeful, and, the next thing. The next thing on my journey to allow myself to be more of myself.
I came from years of not writing. Learned in school to be fearful of writing because the focus was on so much of what was wrong, not right and incorrect. The outcome was so much more important then the journey and gaining of insight with fun. I watched this almost happen with my second daughter. She loved to write. Loved it. By 3rd and definitely 4th, it had become the chore, the thing she had to complete and get through. The joy of it was gone. This was in a class that was known for being an open structure with less emphasis on this kind of teaching, and yet here she was. She asked to be homeschooled by 5th and we agreed to honor her knowing what was best for her. Not an easy thing to do. We are really taught there is one right way to educate a child...
Well, I hadn't actually planned to write that so change of subject...
My intentions for this blog are to honor me and what feels good to write. I plan to listen to my inner voice. The one that reminds me all is well, the most important thing is to feel good, follow your bliss, you are enough, you have great value...share. What others think of me is none of my business. The opportunity to practice more of fully being myself...open, honest, vulnerable, mad, sad, happy, risky, transparent and imperfect.
I wanted to share one thing today. I got one of those emails about "How she looks without makeup." Maybe you have seen it? It has famous actresses with makeup and without. Some of them are pretty contrasting and some don't really make much difference. What I was struck by more then anything to do with the makeup on or off, and one's changed appearance was.....
Isn't it interesting that we (some of us) have become so indoctrinated, trained, practiced, conditioned, automatic, domesticated into seeing the woman with makeup as more beautiful? We really believe it as truth because we have been so acculturated to that. As I look at other tribes and see their perceived beauty of rings around the neck, large disc in the bottom lip and such, I realize we are no different. I am then struck by how we have always accepted men's looks as they are and their aging as that also. We don't see them as less handsome, cute, good looking because they don't have darker eyes with mascara, or blended skin due to the foundation, or pinker cheeks?? Some women like to blame men for this. We teach people how to treat us and we too have become acculturated to this. It doesn't make us bad or wrong or them. It just is something to be aware of and notice that it doesn't define ones worth, beauty or value. So important. AND by the way, I wear mascara and I can be a girly girl. Not a thing wrong with it.
I'm no longer a virgin with the blog and it feels pretty good. I can feel I am still not practiced at this stuff but sure looking forward to much more. I feel pretty satisfied for a first time.
Love and kisses, Shannon
